blushing blossoms

blossoms

I hesitated a bit before uploading this particular shot. Why? Because it’s pink. Yeah, sounds like silly reasoning to me, too…in retrospect. I guess my initial logic was that I already had plenty of pink among my collection of photos here in my blog. But when I really think about it, I think it goes deeper than that. As a  young child, I hated the color pink. I refused to wear it and did all I could to disassociate myself from the pastel shade. What I was really trying to do was eliminate the chance of being labeled as “girly.” Yes, I was a girl… But I also liked sports. And I liked wearing tennis shoes and playing in the dirt. Sure, from time to time, I played dress-up with my mother’s clothes and makeup, but I also enjoyed chasing after grasshoppers and digging up earthworms. Without really understanding what I was doing, I was shying away from my society’s conventional gender roles. And today, that’s still the case. Yes, I’m female. Yes, I’m a heterosexual woman. But I’m also a terrible cook. I lack most of my maternal instincts (I’m not too keen on the idea of ever becoming a mother), and I’m not a fan of styling my hair or getting my nails done. Yet, I see nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be “girly” or who enjoys her femininity to the fullest. Nor do I think it’s any of my business to judge a man who identifies with a gender other than what is expected of him. Okay, I could go on forever, so I’m ending this here.

Oh, but first I have to tie up the loose ends. I no longer avoid the color pink, nor am I ashamed to wear it in public. I understand now that the color itself means nothing. The idea that pink is for girls is socially constructed, and I can choose at any moment to discredit that and other similar norms. I don’t magically turn into a man just because I wear blue. Of course, I do still have my prejudices and preferences when it comes to following society’s expectations, but I try my best not to let those hold me back too much. I’m not sure of my success, but I do try.

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